Words of the Week: Together

This is such an overdo post. Like over two weeks overdo. But a few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I hit a major milestone. We’ve been dating for three year. Well, over three years now.

How crazy.

I can’t believe how quickly time has passed. But at the same time, I can’t imagine a time in my life without him in it. He is so very special to me, and sometimes I wish I’d met him sooner, known him longer, had more time to make more great memories. Sometimes I think about how much of each others lives we missed because we did not always know each other, and it’s such a weird feeling, because now I feel like we know each other better than anyone.

This quote exactly sums up how I feel about him:

everything

But when I think these things, I can’t help but be excited for all the great memories to come. There will be so many, many more.

And don’t get me wrong, being apart the majority of our time is tough. There are so many things, every day, that I think I wish he could be here for this, or, I wish we could be doing this together

But, the way our relationship is works for us and there will be so much together time in the future to do a million things together. To make a million memories. To get annoyed with each other and forget how hard it was to be apart.

And I can’t wait for those days to come.

A New Experience…

Last week I went to Florida (as I’ve mentioned before) and it just so happens I spent the week with my boyfriend there. I don’t blog too much about my relationship with him because…it’s private. I’m not sure I would like it if he was broadcasting stuff about our relationship, so I don’t feel right doing it to him.

Anyways, without going into a lot of detail, we spent an entire week together. This is the longest we’ve ever spent together at a time, by far. We have a long distance relationship so this was definitely a treat and something we were really excited for. In a way, though, it was something I felt nervous for. It was a definite test to our relationship, and it was important to me that we could go a week without driving each other crazy.

I’m really happy that by the end of the week, we were not sick of each other – at all. We were actually really sad to say goodbye. But for sure, being with your significant other can test a girls’ patience and sometimes sanity. If you’re going to be spending extended time with your boyfriend soon, here is to how to make it as fun as possible for both of you:

  1. Have fun! – you are with this person probably because you have fun with them. Relax and do whatever you guys want to do and whatever will facilitate a good time.
  2. Be patient – part of being in a relationship, whether you’re near or far, is learning to be patient with the other one. Remember that you’re not the only one who’s patience is tested. His is probably tested by you, at times, too! Have the patience with him that you would want in return if he starts to get on your nerves.
  3. Do things apart – even though you may be on a vacation together, it doesn’t mean you have to spend every single second attached at the hip. It’s normal to want to do your own thing, at times. Let him play golf while you lounge by the pool, or something like that. It’s okay and healthy to have different interests and both of you should be able to enjoy them on vacation.
  4. Compromise! – there will definitely be times during vacation where you both are after different things. Like many other times during your relationship, you have to compromise! Do what you can to appease both of you at the same time and you will both be happy.
  5. Be understanding – during our vacation, my boyfriend really wanted to watch a few basketball games. He’s really into sports and I understand that about him. Therefore, when he wanted to do that instead of going to the beach or something else, I didn’t let it get to me. I understood that that was important to him and didn’t mind it happening, just as he would do the same for me. Being understanding during situations like this will help make both of you happy and show how much you want your boyfriend to have a great vaca.

together

It’s fun to go on vacations with your boyfriend! This was my first one with mine and it was really great. As long as you are considerate of one another, I’m sure you’ll have a blast! Always realize that the most important thing is simply being together and enjoying your time with one another.

How to Survive a College Break Up

Have you ever been in a super awkward break up situation? How about one in college? How about one where you live next door to the person you just broke up with?

Yeah, I’ve been there. Like I shared a wall with the person I broke up with in my dorm. Luckily this was a while ago, but that doesn’t make the memories any less…well, awkward.

Not to get too personal, because no one really cares about the nitty gritty details of this relationship (and it is so in the past), but I was in a short relationship with a guy who lived next door to me in the beginning of college.

At first, everything was great and I was really into it, but then I slowly realized it just wasn’t a match for me. It was no one’s fault, it just wasn’t meant to be.

Long story short, once I realized this and broke it off, living next door got…hairy. It was definitely a difficult adjustment since I was friends with the people who lived next door and didn’t want to lose those friendships, but I also didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or feel awkward.

When you’re in this situation though, or one similar to it, there are ways to lessen the discomfort while still keeping your friendships (and sanity). Here’s how:

  1. Agree to be friends – as long as you don’t have a terrible break up, agree to be friends and actually mean it. This will be difficult at first, no doubt about it. But make an effort to still talk, get lunch together with friends, and stay interested in each other’s lives. Just because it didn’t work out for you two romantically doesn’t mean you can’t have a friendly connection that is worth maintaining.
  2. Be polite – even though break up’s are awkward, there is no reason to be impolite! Ever! Be cordial and if you can’t be friends, at least be cordial and keep the peace.
  3. Agree – even though one person is the breaker-upper, find neutral ground as to why you are breaking it off to make it more amicable and less awkward to still be in contact all the time. Talk it out and make the other realize why you aren’t meant to be rather than just insisting you’re done. Make them understand and they may just come to agree with you. This will make it so much easier to be friends and truly lessen any discomfort between you two.
  4. Don’t gossip about it – obviously you’re going to tell your friends you and this guy are no longer an item, but never gossip about it or bad-talk him. It will get around your living space and become a huge issue. Believe me, you won’t want to deal with it and it will blow up in your face. Especially in this situation, the less you say the better. You wouldn’t want him bad talking you for everyone to find out, so don’t do it to him.
  5. Be understanding and respectful – understand your ex’s side of things and that his feelings are hurt and you may not be able to jump right into a friendship. Also understand that there may be a period of time that it will be weird to not be dating or together anymore. Furthermore, be respectful of each other and don’t flaunt new flames or relationships in the other’s face because it is really just not nice or necessary! Being understanding and very respectful eliminates anger, awkwardness, drama, and gossip.

What’s your most awkward past break up situation? How did you make it more comfortable?

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A Shameful Obsession

Okay, so one of my most shameful obsessions is The Bachelor.

It all started this past summer when I began watching The Bachelorette. There was something about Emily Maynard that I just really liked – despite how every other second the tabloids were calling her fake, a bad mom, and every other horrible thing under the sun. I became so obsessed with her journey to find love.

Once the season was over, I found myself so hooked on the show itself. Even though in my mind I know it’s crazy, half-fake, and even a little bit trashy at times – I can’t get enough of it.

Last week when the new season of the Bachelor began, I was so excited. Then, the fact that the bachelor is Sean from Emily’s season made me even more excited (if possible).  I wasn’t home when it was one but DVR’d it and watched every moment of the two-hour episode, on the edge of my seat, totally enthralled.

After I finished the episode, for a moment I thought about how sick it is that we not only watch people date on television, but become so obsessed with the intimate detail of someone else’s life. I mean, I wouldn’t want someone watching me date a guy on TV, let alone fall in love and face the difficult yet inevitable trials and questions that form around new relationships.

However, I just can’t stop watching this show. I get way too obsessed with it (almost as obsessed as I got with Degrassi back in 2011…). But, like many of the women I work with at work declared about shamelessly watching the series, we just can’t help it.

Maybe it’s because it has to do with love or because it features a totally cute Texas native. For whatever reason, this show is on my list every week and I will probably never miss an episode.

bachelor

Going the Distance

Since I started my blog, I’ve been really debating whether or not it is appropriate to even mention the fact that I have a relationship on it, let alone discuss it. My relationship is just one of those things that I like to keep private since it is obviously a personal topic.

I have decided that I don’t really think it’s appropriate or necessary to discuss the details of my relationship on here. I mean, if my boyfriend was posting stuff about our relationship online, it would probably irritate me, so why should I be doing it? I see other bloggers with pictures of them and their significant other on their blog, detailing all kinds of things about their relationship – what they did that weekend, what they love about each other, and so on. I think that is awesome for them and I love reading those kinds of things, but it just isn’t something I’m interested in writing about.

One detail that I think is okay to divulge on my blog, however, about my relationship is that it is a long distance one. We go to different schools that by car are about 14 hours apart. This means that we usually only see each other on breaks, and this is our third school year going the distance.

Whenever people ask about my boyfriend and where he goes to school, whenever I respond and they realize how far it is I always get the same response: a look of shocked, perhaps a dropped jaw, and the inevitable question how? So many people have asked me how we do it and how we manage it, so I thought I would share (without getting personal) some stuff about it here.

In no way am I saying that I’m a relationship expert or that I have a perfect relationship that everyone should envy and pine for. I have a relationship that is perfect for me but would not be perfect for everyone (or many not even anyone) else.

And I will be honest – being long distance is definitely a challenge at times. But here is how we’ve made it a lot, lot easier:

  1. Look at the positives – being apart sucks, yes, but there are so many great things about it too. I love the fact that we have our own, separate lives complete with our own interests, activities, and friends. This makes our relationship a lot more balanced and healthy.
  2. Love the time you have together – one of my favorite things about being a long distance couple is that when we’re together, the time is so super special. We truly do cherish breaks when we get to be together and have so many special, irreplaceable memories from those times.
  3. Set times to talk – my boyfriend and I, when we were first apart, talked excessive amounts. Between Skyping, texting, and calls, we were pretty out of control. It definitely took time to find a balance between talked too much and talking too little. Now, we have a great system where we have everything planned out just the way we like it, with set aside times during the week to video chat and talk. This is great because we always have a lot to talk about, and the time we do talk is so special and really fun.
  4. Be reasonable – when you’re apart, there are definitely different challenges than when you’re together.  There are certain things that spur arguments or emotions when you’re apart that can be difficult to deal with. The most important thing to remember is to be reasonable rather than start or perpetuate fights. Most of the things that seem like a huge deal in the moment seem silly a week, day, or hour later.
  5. Be a best friend – the biggest piece of the puzzle that allows being apart to be a breeze for me and my boyfriend is that not only are we a couple, we’re truly best friends. This makes everything so much easier and completely worth being apart. When you can’t imagine what your life would be like without someone, it’s a good indication that even if you’re apart it’s more than worth making the effort to stay close and take care of your relationship.

Like I said before, these are the key elements of what works for me and for us in our relationship, and everyone is different.

I can say that as challenging as it may be at times to be apart, I wouldn’t change my relationship for anything, and if you’re going the distance as well, I hope you feel the same way.

I love these long distance mugs! Might have to get them

I love these long distance mugs! Might have to get them

Books on My Shelf: Megan McCafferty

Books that I read a long time ago but still love today are by the underrated author Megan McCafferty.

 From Sloppy Firsts to Perfect Fifths, her Jessica Darling series is nothing short of amazing. The main character is witty, smart, and funny but also relatable – struggling through her adolescent years and all that comes with them, including issues with friends, family, school, and of course, relationships.

And, if you can’t quite relate to the main character, Jessica, there are many others that all differ greatly from each other yet go together seamlessly. Surely, you’ll find someone to relate to and fall in love with the story line as it goes along.

 The story line is fast-paced, unexpected, and always interesting. I never got bored during this series and highly recommend it to anyone of high school or college age, or even older!

As these novels are a little less recent, McCafferty has written newer novels called Bumped and Thumped which I can’t wait to snuggle up and dive into on a rainy day!

Put on your favorite fleece PJs, grab some hot chocolate (with whipped cream, of course) and enjoy this uh-may-zing series!