Have you ever been in a super awkward break up situation? How about one in college? How about one where you live next door to the person you just broke up with?
Yeah, I’ve been there. Like I shared a wall with the person I broke up with in my dorm. Luckily this was a while ago, but that doesn’t make the memories any less…well, awkward.
Not to get too personal, because no one really cares about the nitty gritty details of this relationship (and it is so in the past), but I was in a short relationship with a guy who lived next door to me in the beginning of college.
At first, everything was great and I was really into it, but then I slowly realized it just wasn’t a match for me. It was no one’s fault, it just wasn’t meant to be.
Long story short, once I realized this and broke it off, living next door got…hairy. It was definitely a difficult adjustment since I was friends with the people who lived next door and didn’t want to lose those friendships, but I also didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or feel awkward.
When you’re in this situation though, or one similar to it, there are ways to lessen the discomfort while still keeping your friendships (and sanity). Here’s how:
- Agree to be friends – as long as you don’t have a terrible break up, agree to be friends and actually mean it. This will be difficult at first, no doubt about it. But make an effort to still talk, get lunch together with friends, and stay interested in each other’s lives. Just because it didn’t work out for you two romantically doesn’t mean you can’t have a friendly connection that is worth maintaining.
- Be polite – even though break up’s are awkward, there is no reason to be impolite! Ever! Be cordial and if you can’t be friends, at least be cordial and keep the peace.
- Agree – even though one person is the breaker-upper, find neutral ground as to why you are breaking it off to make it more amicable and less awkward to still be in contact all the time. Talk it out and make the other realize why you aren’t meant to be rather than just insisting you’re done. Make them understand and they may just come to agree with you. This will make it so much easier to be friends and truly lessen any discomfort between you two.
- Don’t gossip about it – obviously you’re going to tell your friends you and this guy are no longer an item, but never gossip about it or bad-talk him. It will get around your living space and become a huge issue. Believe me, you won’t want to deal with it and it will blow up in your face. Especially in this situation, the less you say the better. You wouldn’t want him bad talking you for everyone to find out, so don’t do it to him.
- Be understanding and respectful – understand your ex’s side of things and that his feelings are hurt and you may not be able to jump right into a friendship. Also understand that there may be a period of time that it will be weird to not be dating or together anymore. Furthermore, be respectful of each other and don’t flaunt new flames or relationships in the other’s face because it is really just not nice or necessary! Being understanding and very respectful eliminates anger, awkwardness, drama, and gossip.
What’s your most awkward past break up situation? How did you make it more comfortable?