Since I started my blog, I’ve been really debating whether or not it is appropriate to even mention the fact that I have a relationship on it, let alone discuss it. My relationship is just one of those things that I like to keep private since it is obviously a personal topic.
I have decided that I don’t really think it’s appropriate or necessary to discuss the details of my relationship on here. I mean, if my boyfriend was posting stuff about our relationship online, it would probably irritate me, so why should I be doing it? I see other bloggers with pictures of them and their significant other on their blog, detailing all kinds of things about their relationship – what they did that weekend, what they love about each other, and so on. I think that is awesome for them and I love reading those kinds of things, but it just isn’t something I’m interested in writing about.
One detail that I think is okay to divulge on my blog, however, about my relationship is that it is a long distance one. We go to different schools that by car are about 14 hours apart. This means that we usually only see each other on breaks, and this is our third school year going the distance.
Whenever people ask about my boyfriend and where he goes to school, whenever I respond and they realize how far it is I always get the same response: a look of shocked, perhaps a dropped jaw, and the inevitable question how? So many people have asked me how we do it and how we manage it, so I thought I would share (without getting personal) some stuff about it here.
In no way am I saying that I’m a relationship expert or that I have a perfect relationship that everyone should envy and pine for. I have a relationship that is perfect for me but would not be perfect for everyone (or many not even anyone) else.
And I will be honest – being long distance is definitely a challenge at times. But here is how we’ve made it a lot, lot easier:
- Look at the positives – being apart sucks, yes, but there are so many great things about it too. I love the fact that we have our own, separate lives complete with our own interests, activities, and friends. This makes our relationship a lot more balanced and healthy.
- Love the time you have together – one of my favorite things about being a long distance couple is that when we’re together, the time is so super special. We truly do cherish breaks when we get to be together and have so many special, irreplaceable memories from those times.
- Set times to talk – my boyfriend and I, when we were first apart, talked excessive amounts. Between Skyping, texting, and calls, we were pretty out of control. It definitely took time to find a balance between talked too much and talking too little. Now, we have a great system where we have everything planned out just the way we like it, with set aside times during the week to video chat and talk. This is great because we always have a lot to talk about, and the time we do talk is so special and really fun.
- Be reasonable – when you’re apart, there are definitely different challenges than when you’re together. There are certain things that spur arguments or emotions when you’re apart that can be difficult to deal with. The most important thing to remember is to be reasonable rather than start or perpetuate fights. Most of the things that seem like a huge deal in the moment seem silly a week, day, or hour later.
- Be a best friend – the biggest piece of the puzzle that allows being apart to be a breeze for me and my boyfriend is that not only are we a couple, we’re truly best friends. This makes everything so much easier and completely worth being apart. When you can’t imagine what your life would be like without someone, it’s a good indication that even if you’re apart it’s more than worth making the effort to stay close and take care of your relationship.
Like I said before, these are the key elements of what works for me and for us in our relationship, and everyone is different.
I can say that as challenging as it may be at times to be apart, I wouldn’t change my relationship for anything, and if you’re going the distance as well, I hope you feel the same way.